
8/5/2011 – In the van; facing forward; fairly well rested; heading . . . West?
OK, PF Hot Seats, back again. We’re hurtling away from Dundee at the moment, making our way to Portree on The Isle of Skye for a 4:15pm radio performance, followed by a show at the Aros Centre (that’s right, “re,” not “er.” It’s a more dignified spelling, shows our connection to Ye Olde Worlde . . . you colonials just wouldn’t understand.).
If you have a knowledge of Scottish geography, and you care to follow our travails, you probably realize that we’re doing a little zig-zag thing here. Isle of Mull to St. Andrews to Isle of Skye, and then back to Banchory on the east coast. Some folks over here have shaken their heads and chuckled at this folly. Let’s not forget, however, we’re Ahhhmurrrricans! We don’t even blink at any drive under 10 hours (see our previous tour logs, specifically the 27 hour drive from Austin TX to Richmond VA; or our last weekend in the US: 3 days, 24 hours of it spent in the van). Ten hours is nearly the length of the UK, so we’re all good.
We almost relish time in the van. Sleeping; smoking cigarettes; staring; listening to music through earphones so as to avoid the inane chatter of BBC2; eating; arguing; writing; occasional laptop movie watching (oh Harry Potter, will you be ok?); sometimes we even talk about music (“That’s bullshit!” “You’re bullshit” “Blah blah blah added 11th” “Stop speeding up” “Stop slowing down!”). This trip has the added bonus of the edu-tainment of constant cursing and commentary that emerges from Gerry “Wrong Turn” Roche (“No, go ahead and don’t use an indicator, I’m a mind reader.” “Speed up, you tosser!” “Get out of the f***ing van!” “Get into the f***ing van!”). For all of our funny stories, Gerald is actually a bank of knowledge in the history of England/Music realm, something that Ed especially relishes. Lord knows that boy LOVES to know things.
So let’s see, we can catch up a bit, ok? How are things going with you? Oh, no she didn’t! No she didn’t! She did? OK, well . . . good to know. Can I talk now?
Monday, August 1st, 2011:
After I left you, we slummed around Fochabers for the day, walking along the lovely Spey(??? Check this) River, drinking coffee, generally recovering from Speyfest. Recovering from Speyfest is, apparently, an annual event in Fochabers, as we found out from our host Janet and our pal Bob Sharp, who brought us there in the first place. We ended up landing an impromptu gig at a local watering hole – The Grant Arms. It was a pretty low key gig, just playing old time and bluegrass in the corner. We were cajoled into playing “Dueling Banjos,” by the proprietor. About halfway through, we realized, “Hey, we don’t actually know how to play this song.” Though Ben did do a great impression of the albino kid from Deliverance. He, he’s doing it right now! Oh . . . sorry Benny.
Tuesday, August 2nd:
We left out of Fochabers early in order to make it to the Isle of Mull in a timely fashion. The drive involved two ferries, and a long stretch of a single track road that was . . . hairy, to say the least. You have to understand that we’re basically traveling in the back of a box van over here. It’s hard to see out of the front window, and one or two of us are sitting backwards. Basically, every hill or curve is a surprise, especially given Gerald’s . . . economical use of the brakes (as hard as possible for as short a time as possible). It was a very pretty drive. The highlands and western coast are wild to look at: jutting crags, rushing streams, fogbanks that appear from nowhere. On a sunny day it’s pretty, on a cloudy day, foreboding (and still pretty).
We arrived in Tobermory on the Isle of Mull and first went to An Tobar, the venue for the evening. Yet another beautiful stone arts centre (there it is again!). Government granted, both fully modern and also classic in appearance. You know, just like all those ones that don’t exist in the US. We did a quick sound check with our soundman/local host, Gordon, and then proceeded to walk around town. Tobermory reminded me of the town in Popeye The Movie. A picturesque harbor full of sailboats and workboats, a small multi-tiered downtown area of pubs, restaurants and shops, tons of birds everywhere, very hilly, huge forearms everywhere! After a while, Gordon took us to eat at a restaurant high on a crag that overlooked the water. So much good food to eat over here! We ended up answering questions about what exactly is going on in the U.S. in re: politics and the difference between our guys and the guys over here (note: “Guys” in this case is gender neutral. We realize there’s lady politicians too. Ok?). Basically it came down to this: The USAs is infected by morality politics that has NOTHING to do with what’s important about government, but totally paralyzing for the opportunists in charge. More on this later, I can feel my ears getting hot just thinking about it.
Our show at An Tobar was sold out, and the crowd was extremely excited. No need to harp on the details of the show – just another typically excellent reception. Amazing how a supportive promoter, great sound man, and am appreciative crowd all leads to better music. How does that work exactly?
After the gig, we walked down to a pub with two of the audience members and new friends, Mark and Francesca. We talked about music, politics, and other pleasantries. At one point, two very drunk young Irishmen came up and injected themselves into our scene. They were getting a big kick out of our beards (one of them licked my beard, yech . . . ), and insisted on calling my “Al Qaeda.” Charming. Eventually they left, after downing many shots of Sambuca (again, yech). Later, on my walk back to the B&B I found them discussing whether to try and go head first through a pub’s window in order to gain entry. I assured them it was a solid idea. Not sure if they followed through or not.
Wednesday, August 3rd:
Gerry dropped us in Glasgow for a day off. The drive from Mull to Glasgow was described as “pretty to gritty.” We in this band like Glasgow. Perhaps some of the affection is due to the many good times we’ve had here – Celtic Connections, busking, Tall Ship gigs, etc – but I think that part of it is that Glasgow feels like a real city, and we like cities. There’s tons of history, lovely parks, interesting art and architecture, and some of the most ridiculous fashion statements walking around everywhere you look. Seriously youth of Scotland, what’s up with the hair? Who told you that’s a good idea?
We checked into our hotel and then all of us us but Eddie went busking (Eddie, as you may know, is not a fan of busking, as is his right. He frequently does it anyway, so we like to give him a pass). Not sure if it’s because people don’t get to hear much old time and ragtime around here, but we got a great reception and were able to make enough ££ (that’s function-control-3 on yer keyboards, Americans) for dinner and then some. Part of that might be the convenience of having more coin currency. In the States, for someone to give us a dollar involves dipping into a wallet, whereas a pound coin is just a simple pocket grab away. We enjoyed a tasty Indian meal (lots if good Indian food here), and spent the night watching “Red Heat” in our hotel rooms. Oh Arnold, how glorious you once were. Come back to the world of action/comedy. Perhaps “Red Heat II”? I think James Belushi is available.
Sidenote on movies: Ever notice how movies in the 1980′s always had some kind of class struggle/political agenda? In Red Heat, Arnold’s character goes to a jail to interrogate the blind African American drug kingpin, who informs him that it’s his goal to “sell drugs to every white person in the world.” due to his knowledge of the imbalance of power that is inherent in the American race-class system. Love it! Just like the constant rich vs poor battles in all brat pack movies. Nowadays we glorify the rich ponces and douchebags. Anyway . . .
Thursday, August 4th:
Yesterday we traveled to St. Andrews for our second appearance at the super nice Byre Theatre (whoop! ANOTHER “re” so fancy!). St. Andrews is, apparently, the home of golf. I know that a few of our FB fans have suggested that we go hit the links. Now, not to offend anyone or seem glib (lord knows we wouldn’t want to seem glib), but, and I mean this seriously, golf is possible the biggest waste of space in this world. I realize I’m glossing over the intense skill it takes to send a tiny ball hundreds of yards in a particular direction, and then follow that up by lightly tapping that same small ball into an equally small hole. Nonetheless, and again, I’m serious, screw golf. Perhaps it comes from my own middle-middle class upbringing and the ultra schmancy golf club in my home town where polo’d and khaki’d dudes would spend time being rich and engaged in this boring “sport,” but I think it more than likely comes from the exclusivity inherent in everything about golf. I’m, of course, not talking about any golf that involves windmills, animatronic dinosaurs, or waterfalls. Just to be clear. OK, how many of you did I lose. And remember, I’m not talking about golfers, just golf. Phew!
Easy sound check, followed by a quick tour of our dressing room, green room, and exclusive cigarette smoking area. Yes Virginia, we are rock stars. We have a mirror with lights on it, and our own bathroom! We then went searching for food before the show. After a quick walk, we stumbled onto a clutch of chippies and kabob shops. Now, personally, I’m still not over my doner aversion (see this blog entry HERE (bottom of the page)), so got myself some noodles. The rest of the fellers were more than willing, however, to dive into the world of shaved meat and chili sauce. It turned out to be perhaps a poor decision for at least one band member, but I’m not one to name names. Let’s just say that we were a little worried in the first set that we may have to be a quartet for at least a 3 song period of time. Luckily, it was all sound and fury, signifying nothing.
A great show at the Byre, with a crowd of around 160 happy folks (I realize we’re no Brothers Avett or Brothers Van Halen, for that matter, ok? 160 feels pretty damned good to us). Two great sets of music, and we got to catch up with our pals from Kircaldy, Davey and Mary. Back to the hotel and to sleep, and now here we are. Perhaps I’ll post this, or perhaps I’ll wait a few more days. Don’t wanna inundate you folks with my inanities.
August 6th, 2011:
OK, back for one more entry before I send this missive into the internet ether, or is that the ethernet inter? Hah, wordplay!
Last night was a great success, if we do say so ourselves. First of all, I didn’t mention yesterday the jaw dropping drive. Not sure how often I can reiterate this point, but the north of Scotland is a rugged and verdant place, and though we’re seeing much of the landscape at 50 miles an hour, it is appreciated nonetheless. The drive onto the Isle of Skye, which even sounds pretty, was especially nice. As a band that takes a certain interest in things morphologic and scientific (and I may just be speaking for myself here, though I think not), all of the u-shaped valleys and glacially carved cliffs were rewarding to see. One can almost imagine a mile of ice on top of us, just grinding away. That is, of course, if you believe such hogwash, as opposed to the facts of, you know, it just being that way because that’s the way the man upstairs wants it to be. Hmm, maybe I’ll just leave this one alone, eh? Probably almost as offensive as my thoughts on golf . . .
Nothing new to report on the gig, really. We rolled into Portree in time to make a stop by Cuillin FM for a little on air performance. Thanks to Bruce for having us! I love the idea of a radio station dedicated to broadcasting throughout the Hebrides. Besides the physical sciences, you know of course that this band is dedicated to the publicly owned and controlled airwaves. I also love that we were bookended on one end by a Katie Perry song and on the other end by a Coldplay song. Ah to be surrounded by ones peers!
The gig at the Aros Centre (!) was a lot of fun. We’ve been using this small mic set-up a lot over here, which really allows us to move around and interact with one another, something we enjoy doing. Hopefully it comes off well from a visual perspective also. Right before we went on stage, a tall red headed woman approached us to let us know that she was the town’s librarian and that this night represented her one night off, and the it had better be good! Especially as how she had seen Pokey LaFarge & The South City Three recently and they were so well dressed and generally excellent, and they recommended us highly. She gave Ed grief because he was wearing a fleece and that it would never do on stage. Eddie, of course, knows better than that! Anyone who knows the man knows he’s a short shorts and flannel kind of guy, or occasionally a plaid on plaid person. Anyway, she also warned us that the crowd might be a bit reserved (“It’s dry on Skye”), though she and her friends in the front row more than made up for any lack of enthusiasm. The theater in the Aros Centre is a really charming spot with wood trim and comfy seats.
We ended the night at a local shitty pub, listening to a guitar shredder backed by pre-recorded band tracks running through all kinds of hits: Money for Nothing, Boys are Back in Town, etc. As camp as this might have seemed, it provided a nice counterpoint to our gigs of the last week, and, more than anything else, brought back the realization of how much we now dislike playing in loud bars to disaffected patrons.
Now we’re on a ferry, headed to the Outer Hebrides, the Isle of Lewis, for a gig in Stornaway. This represents the furthest north we’ve ever gone. The sky is light until around 10:30pm here, and dawn happens pretty early as well. Let’s hope we don’t fall off the edge of the earth here, as Graham is constantly predicting.
Coming up on future blogs: Crybaby Stuck in the Land of Withholding: Ruminations on Pay WiFi and No Rice with My Chinese or Indian Food; 6,000 Pounds of Carrots Grown in Inverness: How is It that All My Food Comes from Honduras? And other topics!