Back in the van, headed north to Inverness! Watch out all monsters, mythical and otherwise!

PF Hotseat here, in fine spirits at the moment, just leaving the Border town of Hawick (“HOICK”), after a large British Breakfast and an early wake up. We’re leaving early for a couple of reasons: a) it’s a long drive, and b) we want to do our touristy “snap snap, grin grin” thing up there at Loch Ness! Maybe the most “touristy” place we’ve ever been to. There’s all kinds of schlock to buy and staged photos to take, our fanny packs are full of carrying cash and our jogging suits are matching. You know, they just don’t make ketchup here like they do in the States! My legs are tired! When’s dinner?

Anyway, let’s see . . .

Two nights ago (Thursday, Oct 1), we drove from the Kingdom of Fife to Newcastle, England. This is a wonderful drive, through the Scottish and English Borders – impressive hills and plenty of stark emptiness, really makes you appreciate the difficulty that various invaders must have had in trying to conquer the Scottish people. This is to say nothing about the difficulty that modern invaders (read: US) have in trying to understand what a Border dweller is SAYING. Every town is an isolated pocket and has a dialect to match – crazy words and accents.

Newcastle is an old town, with many a cool building to gawk at. We played at this cool club called The Cluny, as part of the Jumpin’ Hot Club music series. Our host, Graham, is a super nice fellow, a musician also, and was very pleased to see us. Alas, the show was poorly attended, at least comparatively to our other shows on this tour. Nonetheless, we rocked out as best as we could, giving our all, as we do to many rooms more empty and dingy than this one. The folks were well impressed and told us so. There was one man in particular who was well-marinated, and who was not shy about loudly proclaiming his love for the banjo multiple times over. Not only was his language slurred by drink, but apparently (I found out later) he had a strong “Jordy” accent, which is a region in the English Borders.

The next day we made for Hawick, back north into the Borders. On the way down this curvy valley, we passed by Hadrian’s Wall, which is as an impressive edifice as any I’ve seen before, as much for the clear amount of effort required on the part of the Romans to build it. It also makes me appreciate the amount of history in this place. After the Romans tipped out of here, the Vikings were in charge, which explains very much the crazy dialects and fierce independence of the Border folk.

The gig last night was in the Heart of Hawick Auditorium, located inside of an old mill and situated directly overtop of a river (NAME?), as most mills were. Hawick was the cashmere capital of the world at one point, and still has lots of the industry there. However, as with mill-towns throughout the first world, much of the industry has picked up and moved to places with less stringent or nonexistent environmental and worker’s rights laws. Alas. Nonethelss, we were promised cheap cashmere upon our next visit. V Neck Sweaters, anyone?

The show was totally sold out (ah, how nice it is to write those words!), and the crowd was the perfect mix of enthusiastic and polite. Pretty much every song went down a storm and at the end of the night we had a double encore, and probably would have done three had the house lights not come on. If only we could lock into this kind of thing in the States . . . sigh. There were two relatively drunk folk in the front of the house, full of hilarious chatter. During the quiet section of “Czardas,” the fellow commented loudly, “Can I Clap yet?” I thought it was funny, anyway.

After the show, we retired to a pub just behind the gig for a couple of quiet pints, or so we thought (cue foreshadowing music, string swell)! First of all, the aforementioned drunk fellow was there, and proceeded to talk to me and Ben about Cinderella (the band), and how effing great they are. Hmm . . . Also, Loudon, our agent, was in attendance, and had grown up around Hawick, so had lots of old friends and some relations along, and there was much mirth, merrymaking, and storytelling afoot. In the pub there were actually a couple of press shots from Loudon’s old bands in the 1960′s, an R&B band and a psychedelic group. Great to see shots of him in the midst of his mod moment. Of special entertainment value was Loudon’s good friend, Bob Fish(of Johnny and the Rocco’s) – a guitarist and rockabilly fellow. This man had backed nearly every Sun Records artist that toured the UK in the last 40 years. Wanda Jackon, Billy Lee Reilly, Chuck Berry, etc. Bob had some great advice about dealing with the women from many European countries (Sweden, most especially). He and Loudon swapped stories about their old band days, casually dropping names like Ginger Baker, Eric Burdon, John Bonham, and others. It was super informative and quite the thrill for relatively young bucks like ourselves. Another example of a man who has been able to make something of a living in the world of music while still maintaining a semi-sane home life.

And now we are curving ’round small Scottish road, two gigs left! I’ll probably wait to post this until the last two gigs are posted, so sit tight . . .

OK, I’m back! Sitting in the Artist’s Lounge in Caird Hall, Dundee, waiting for our final gig. Given that there’s WIFI here, I’ll go ahead and post some final pictures and a final blog for the tour.

Last night in Inverness was great! We got to town early and decided to cruise up to the Loch for our touristy business. It was a classic Highlands Day – great, foreboding, and very windy. We got exactly what we were told – horizontal, cold rain. I didn’t see the monster, although I thought I caught a glimpse of Bigfoot while standing on the banks of Loch Ness, but it was just Ed, creeping up beside me.

How good is the feeling of having 200+ people cheer for you before you play a single note? Very good. I realize that 200 is a relatively unimpressive number in the face of a large band, but for us? Pretty nice. Another great crowd, full of spark and energy, one of our largest in the UK! Things are growing well over here, so come on USA, let’s get on the bandwagon too!

So now we wait for our final gig, and it looks like it’ll be a good one. Caird Hall is this massive structure in downtown Dundee – a city right on the North Sea. We’ve got the pleasure of an opening act tonight – The Lost Todorov’s. They look like a great deal of fun and excitement. Hopefully it’ll set the mood for the night.

And now, some final thoughts:

• Roundabouts – If you aren’t from the UK and have no experience here, this may seem ridiculous, but many roundabouts (in the States they are called the much less whimsical “traffic circles”) here have taken on almost legendary status. People refer to them as though they are serious cultural landmarks, and they appear in everyday conversation and on news reports, and it’s given that you WILL know where these are, and what their significance is, and what service stations are nearby.
• Doner Kabob – Ugh, too many doner kabobs! Doner kabobs originate in Germany, and are your classic big skewer of meat from which portions are shaved. Covered in chili sauce and garlic sauce and vegetables. They are EVERYWHERE! Millions of takeaway restaurants offering the finest in greasy, unhealthy, late night treats. King Rib (that’s deep fried McRib, essentially), Fried Fish, Blood Pudding (ugh), Scotch Pies, Chips, Curry Chips, Cheese Chips, Deep Fried Cheeseburger (!!!)? Yep! No doubt! And doner, sweet doner. It’s cheap and plentiful, so guess what we’ve been eating? I’ll be happy to take a break, though I don’t doubt that we’ll be eating them again, soon enough.
• Newspapers – As near as I can tell, there are three or four (or five) real newspapers here – The Independent, The Guardian, the Times, The Scotsman, and the Herald. And then, there’s the Sun, the Weekly World News, the Sport (our favorite), and countless other rags that are dedicated to best in conjecture, libel, star-watching, gossip, and naked ladies (especially the Sport, wonder why it’s our favorite?), oh and football. These papers are SO ridiculous, and the worst part is that we read ‘em, and so now I know way more about the inner workings of various B-List celebrities sex lives than I do about global politics or anything that actually matters. Actually, given the load of horse wallop I’ve been seeing about the doings of our beloved US government, maybe it is just as well that I’ve been reading more about the vacuous goofs of the UK sports-entertainment industry.

And now we return home, back to wide roads and wide loads, SUV’s and Micky D’s, and the great wide yonder! New gigs are on the horizon for November/December and beyond.

More pics available here – PICS

Hope to see you soon!

PF Hotseat, et al.!

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